Resolution #5 – I Will Intentionally Get to Know My International Coworkers and Neighbors

With refugees and immigrants arriving from many parts of the world, the nations are no longer far away – they are often sitting beside you at work, living next door, or studying in the same classrooms. Many internationals navigate American life while learning a new language, unfamiliar customs, and workplace expectations. Rather than waiting for special programs or cultural events, you can intentionally build friendships with the international coworkers and neighbors God has already placed in your daily routine. In doing so, you not only help them feel welcomed and understood, but you also grow in your own cultural awareness and Christlike hospitality.

These people can be first-generation immigrants, experiencing everything for the first time. They could be international students studying at American schools. They may be refugees from other places, displaced by wars or natural events.

They may try to be invisible. They may be isolated from friends and family. They may be unsure of American customs and society, and so are hesitant to engage with anyone.

You may be unsure of their culture and are afraid of offending them by saying or doing the wrong things. There may be language barriers. They are trying to speak English without knowing our idioms or slang, and you may try to speak their language with the same handicaps, leading to awkward situations.

Another barrier to getting to know international neighbors is the habit of busyness, the fast-paced lifestyle with time pressure and deadlines. There is just no time. Time must be made to form real relationships.

You can be socially polite, superficially recognizing them without actually interacting with them. If you want to really know your international acquaintances, you need to be genuinely curious, not just out of politeness.

A simple first step is learning their names, and how they pronounce it. Letters can be pronounced differently in different languages, and pronouncing a name correctly signals respect and acknowledgment of the other person.

During break times and shared tasks, you can ask respectful, open-ended questions. If you know something of the other person’s country history or current events, ask how they feel about those things. They might be surprised that you even know things about their country. Some years ago, I spoke with a Lebanese co-worker about the situation there, and he was amazed and wanted to know how I knew of current events there.

You need to be patient with language and communication differences. It might be hard for both of you. Don’t be offended if they or you say or do something wrong or out of place. Simply explain what they did, and what the right way to do or say is.

Invite coworkers or neighbors into your home and include them in everyday activities such as meals, celebrations, or errands. It will make both of you more familiar with each other. On these excursions, you can explain any American customs they ask about, or are unsure of. Allow them to teach you about their culture in return. “How do you do this in your culture?”

Remember, building trust and friendships is a long-term activity, not a one-off event. Be consistent in your friendship with your co-worker or neighbor. Listen more than speak. Listen more with your heart than with your ears to discover unspoken needs. Friendship and trust grows slowly, like seeds and plants. Don’t try to force things along.

International friendships broaden your worldview. You will discover more about the world around you without leaving your hometown.

You can model Christ through love, patience, and humility without saying a word. Sometimes, spiritual conversations will arise organically through everyday events. Maybe driving to the store, you pass a large church event that sparks curiosity. Maybe you do something Christlike, and that prompts questions. You can answer as best you know, and then trust God with the results.

See your coworkers and neighbors as part of God’s global plan. He has brought them to you at this time for a purpose. Be sensitive to the Spirit’s promptings in this friendship. If you are befriending an international student, they will go back to their home country with an impression of America and Christianity. Make sure it is a good one.

Make yourself a model to your family and church of welcoming the foreigner. Live a lifestyle that reflects Christ’s hospitality to the stranger. You never know how far the ripples of one act of kindness can travel, and who they can affect.